QB Derek Carr Leading Raiders In The Face Of Tragedy

Las Vegas Raiders quarterback Derek Carr is leading the way as the team faced tragedy this week, proving his leadership once again.

Tragedy. Those that have felt the sting of true loss understand. Those that haven’t yet are lucky they don’t. Eventually, we all go through moments in life that will stick with us forever. In life, some days separate us from who we were before this day and who we are afterward.

Before you know first-hand how tragedy feels, you imagine how you’d feel in horrible moments countless times. You imagine how something would feel when you read a headline, or hear a sad story from someone, or even watch a movie or read a book.

After experiencing it yourself though, that’s when you realize what you imagined was nowhere near the real thing. What you can’t encapsulate without the first-hand experience is just how deep of pain it is. You simply can not understand just how much pain you can feel until you feel it.

It is a feeling so distinct and so unique; it is indescribable. Afterward, your understanding of tragic loss becomes like the difference between crawling and running a marathon. When you know, you know.

After I experienced the untimely loss of an immediate family member, another profound understanding hit me. It was the sudden ability to know that I don’t know how something feels unless I experienced it. It’s not an easy thing to learn.

You still imagine how something would feel, always having to empathize. However, now it is with the understanding that you can’t know what someone is feeling in the aftermath of their tragedy. You can imagine how gut-wrenching horrible this is because, of course, it is awful. However, you also realize living the tragedy is far worse than whatever you can imagine it is.

This accident is unfathomable in its scale. However, it doesn’t take firsthand experience to know that Henry Ruggs III’s act was reprehensible. It is so obvious, so heinous, and just so damn avoidable. So many lives changed from this one moment in time. None more so than the victim, Tina Tintor, who didn’t deserve such a horrific end, may she rest in peace.

You see the whole gamut of emotions from Raider Nation right now, some of which are just downright disgusting in blaming anybody but the Raider player that was behind the wheel. There is no excuse anymore in defending Ruggs, there is no possible way to justify the reckless act that he committed. 

Not at that speed, not at that BAC level.

Henry Ruggs appears in court today, and some new alleged details have emerged:

• He was at 156 mph 2 seconds before crash
• His BAC was 2x the legal limit
• A loaded gun was found in car
• The victim’s dog also died in the crash

His mugshot: pic.twitter.com/Is7qVPgTZ1

— NFL Stats (@NFL_Stats) November 3, 2021

As someone on the outside looking in, it’s easy to write off Ruggs after this as just another story to add to the rookie symposiums. This is a horrible thing he is responsible for and he deserves what is going to come next for this catastrophic reckless act. There is nothing more to add to that as someone outside of the situation. It’s cut and dry because of having no personal connection to the people involved.

However, it’s a different story for the people who do have personal connections to any of the people (or the poor dog) involved in this tragedy. This is also a different story for those of you unfortunate enough to know exactly how a tragedy like this feels firsthand. Those that have lost people to drunk driving or taken someone else’s life have perspectives the rest of us don’t, as do the first responders and witnesses out there. 

If you think you can understand how those people feel, I’m here to tell you that you don’t. There is no possible way you know how this really feels. No, the only thing people like you and me can do is imagine it.

That is really important to understand when you hear Derek Carr tell the world that he still loves Ruggs despite this tragedy.

Raiders QB Derek Carr said he’ll be there for now former teammate Henry Ruggs, if needed, following his fatal DUI crash. #vegas #raiders #raidernation 🎥 @raiders pic.twitter.com/x9b2g5jtle

— Mick Akers (@mickakers) November 3, 2021

Carr loves his friend who did something inconceivably awful. That is not a defense of that friend, though some have taken it that way. There is no defense, but it doesn’t stop everyone from loving someone they care about.

Many people also didn’t appreciate Carr’s refusal to turn his back on Jon Gruden. Gruden’s controversy was mere weeks ago and already feels like a lifetime away. Not being ok with Carr’s loyalty to his friends is reasonable, these are hard moments to handle no matter what.

I am not passing judgment on Carr for his need to be there for his loved ones, though. I will say it is not the equivalent of defending someone to still love them, despite their flaws. It’s the definition of what unconditional love is. I find his loyalty to his loved ones commendable, even if not everyone does.

Whether you accept his response as reasonable is for you to decide. To me, Carr is showing himself to be an incredible leader. He is doing his best to focus on the job and to be there for people he loves despite their monstrous actions. He also is publicly processing s*** with cameras in his face that is so awful that most of us could never understand it.

What Carr (and Rich Bisaccia for that matter) are being asked to do right now is an impossible situation. There is nothing to say that everyone will agree with in a time like this. To go up there and be genuine is all you can ask. That is exactly what the leader of the Raiders is doing.

There are no winners here, and there is no way to satisfy everyone. I respect that Carr didn’t even try to either. He just went up there and did his absolute best to be honest.

That is leadership. This is the type of character that had the Raiders go 2-0 after Gruden. Now who knows what this team will look like going forward though. If this team can overcome this surreal moment in history and continue playing well it’d be a miracle. If that happens, we will be pointing at Carr’s leadership as the reason why.

Not everyone is going to be ok with the way Carr is handling this situation though. It is brave to announce to the world you still love someone who did what Ruggs has done. Trust that his response is not going unnoticed in the Raiders locker room.

His teammates and him are all hurting. They are all going to grieve this unlike anything most have previously experienced. They needed somebody out front and Carr is being that leader, for better or worse. Who knows where this team goes from here but they have 10 more games to play in the regular season. I am glad they have Carr leading them the rest of the way.

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*Top Photo: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports