Here we go again, folks. Another Las Vegas Raiders “insider” has joined the Maxx Crosby trade rumor bandwagon.
So here we are again, deep in the NFL offseason’s favorite pastime: elaborately structured non-news presented as geopolitical intelligence.
Let’s recap the stunning revelations contained herein: A player might be traded. Two teams specifically want him. No deal is imminent. The Raiders aren’t shopping him. He just had knee surgery that scared off the last team that did have a deal. But yes, absolutely, nuclear hot.
To his credit, Raiders insider Hondo Carpenter deployed the phrase “nuclear hot” with the energy of a man who has discovered fire for the first time. The Eagles and 49ers are nuclear hot on Maxx Crosby, a player whose own team insists is not for sale, whose last trade collapsed during a physical, and who is recovering from knee surgery. Scorching. Truly.
The broader narrative here is almost poetic in its circularity. The Rams acquired Myles Garrett, triggering an arms race. The 49ers, apparently incapable of watching division rivals have nice things, are now reportedly “aggressive pursuers” of Crosby, who, again, is not available. This is less an arms race than it is two neighbors arguing over a lawn mower that isn’t for sale.
Pairing Crosby with Nick Bosa would be devastating, sure. So would a healthy offensive line, a functioning quarterback situation and perhaps a head coach whose seat isn’t already preheating. San Francisco’s offseason to-do list is long, and “acquire an edge rusher with a surgically repaired knee from a team that doesn’t want to trade him” seems like an ambitious place to start.
Grant Cohn of Sports Illustrated notes the 49ers “could have the draft capital necessary” to make a compelling offer, the word “could” doing the heavy lifting of a man carrying a refrigerator up three flights of stairs.
Crosby is a legitimate, generational-level talent. At 28, under contract through 2029, with 69.5 career sacks, he is unquestionably worth the obsession. The league is right to monitor. The 49ers are right to circle.
But until Las Vegas actually picks up the phone and means it, this is less trade news than it is competitive fan fiction.
Compelling fan fiction, though. We’ll give it that.
*Top Photo: Getty Images