The Oakland Raiders 2017 Eulogy

Dearly beloved, friends, family and Raider Nation we are gathered here today to lay to rest the Oakland Raiders 2017 season.

The passing game which never got off the ground, the run game that often stood still and the defense who never quite seemed to be able to get off the field. Along the way, we have lost draft picks, players, coordinators and ultimately the head coach.

The Oakland Raiders 2017 Eulogy

The 2017 season was rife with distractions, espionage, and injury. Press conference after press conference all we heard about were the little things and fine details until finally, it became apparent there was no answer for the losing. Too many times during broadcasts the announcers would point out just how pitifully the team was failing at the basic fundamentals of football.

The Oakland Raiders looked the part of a heavyweight prizefighter during the first two weeks of the season; however, a trip to Washington D.C. while standing up directly to ol’ POTUS #45 ended in horrific fashion. The Raiders were chin-checked by the Redskins and sent crumbling to the mat faster than Glass Joe.

We expected great things from Derek Carr but after fracturing three transverse process in his back against the Denver Broncos, Carr would for lack of a better phrase, be a broken man.

On behalf of Ice City, the pride of North Oakland, Marshawn Lynch came out of retirement to represent. Beasts need to eat and Lynch is no different, but for some ungodly reason, the Raiders put their beast on a diet only feeding him 207 carries for 891 yards and seven touchdowns. He signed a two-year deal but it may just be the end of the road for him.

We lay to rest the block hands and butterfingers of every wide receiver and defensive back who seemed physically incapable of doing the one thing they are paid to do, “catch the damn ball.”

We lay to rest the “Polish Cannon” which may have sounded for the last time in a Raider uniform if not forever.

It is important to realize that the 2017 season wishes not to be remembered for the colossal disappointment it was that cost a staff of men their jobs, but a 365 day segue into the return of Jon Gruden.

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